Blue Hairs Love Greyhound

You old farts are starting to piss me off!

Its about once a week now that I get some 90-year-old eBayer e-mailing me, "This shipping seems high. Would you consider dropping this off at the local Greyhound station... They just put it in with the luggage."

Wow! Really? You are so creative! No I never thought of using a 97-year-old technology to save 20 bucks on shipping. That's a great idea! Let me just finish this Sarsaparilla, hop in the ole' Studebaker and run on down to the local depot with this parcel. But wait, gas doesn't cost 11-cents per gallon anymore, does it? And my time? Well its not free either is it? No it is not. So you see its actually costing me about 50 bucks in time and fuel to save you 20... Awesome.

You know what else Greyhound is cheaper than? Air transportation. So here's an idea for you. You should totally hop a Greyhound, plop your wrinkly ass in a window seat next to a welfare family from Chicago and cruise 1800 miles to here, the most northwest corner of the continental United States to pick your shit up. Don't forget to have someone in your trailer park water your petunias while your gone. You may also want to pack some Geritol and a shitload of Depends. There's like 2-inches of leg-room on those buses and the toilets notoriously back-up.