Monday, June 27, 2011

I want a Puppy

- gheorgheceh:

i want to by 10 braeburn 1000 for 10.99 each

- Response:

I want a puppy for Christmas. I can't wait to see who gets their wish first... I bet its me.

Friday, June 10, 2011

I feel better already
I've already bitch slapped a codbag and haven't even had a cup of coffee yet.
Transcript follows:

From: kenny093
Subject: Other: kenny093 sent a message about Snap-On Tool Box Rolling Cabinet Classic 78 Royal Blue #120735109251
Sent Date: Jun-09-11 20:20:40 PDT

Will you please consider taking $1200 for this box? I see that it is already crated. If you could drop it off at a local fed ex hub I would handle the charges from there. Thank you for your consideration.

- kenny093

My response:

I'm not sure I'm following your logic here. It seems like you are asking me to sell you a $4500 tool box for less than my starting bid price, and then personally drive it to the local Fed-Ex terminal so you can avoid any margin I might have built into the shipping.
Hmmmm. How about NO!
And before you respond with, "Well it doesn't hurt to ask." Let me tell you that it actually does. I just added you to my blocked bidder list and added you to my list of Cod Bags on so other right-minded sellers won't accidentally sell to you.
Have a great day!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Blue Hairs Love Greyhound

You old farts are starting to piss me off!

Its about once a week now that I get some 90-year-old eBayer e-mailing me, "This shipping seems high. Would you consider dropping this off at the local Greyhound station... They just put it in with the luggage."

Wow! Really? You are so creative! No I never thought of using a 97-year-old technology to save 20 bucks on shipping. That's a great idea! Let me just finish this Sarsaparilla, hop in the ole' Studebaker and run on down to the local depot with this parcel. But wait, gas doesn't cost 11-cents per gallon anymore, does it? And my time? Well its not free either is it? No it is not. So you see its actually costing me about 50 bucks in time and fuel to save you 20... Awesome.

You know what else Greyhound is cheaper than? Air transportation. So here's an idea for you. You should totally hop a Greyhound, plop your wrinkly ass in a window seat next to a welfare family from Chicago and cruise 1800 miles to here, the most northwest corner of the continental United States to pick your shit up. Don't forget to have someone in your trailer park water your petunias while your gone. You may also want to pack some Geritol and a shitload of Depends. There's like 2-inches of leg-room on those buses and the toilets notoriously back-up.