Friday, July 30, 2010

Let Me Google That For You!

I know you guys are gonna dig this.

A new employee pointed this website out to me the other day.
It is an acronym for "Let Me Google That For You" and here is how it works:
  1. A time-wasting codbag asks you a question they could have easily looked up themselves. In my recent case it was "What is the size (motor amps) of the $0.99 vacuum cleaner you are selling?
  2. Type in a search term, click a button and it produces a short web link.
  3. Copy/Paste the link and send it to your codbag.
  4. When they click the link a Google screen opens in their browser, the mouse moves to the search field, slowly types in the search term you entered, and the mouse clicks the "Google Search" button. Half a second later, Ta-Da, the same freeking Google results you would have gotten are now produced for the idiot who asked you the question.
Lets take a look at the process at work; shall we?

Codbag question: What is the size (motor amps) of this Vacuum?

Answer: Here is a link to a bunch of information on this item:

Its beautiful in its simplicity.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Scammers posing as CodBags

This isn't a new scam, but it is worth mentioning to our angry and militant masses. I got the following e-mail today from what appeared to be a slightly over the top CodBag:
I payed you and you didn`t ship me the item .I have reported you to eBay and to the police ! You will not get away with this .I`ll find you if it`s the last thing i do !!!
I might have sent my standard verbal middle finger if I hadn't been tipped off by one critical piece of the e-mail. The cops. This guy claims to have reported me to the cops. Here is what I know about the cops: They have less time for cod-bags than I do. Anyone contacting their local police about an eBay transaction gone bad would be so beat down and humiliated they would likely slink into a corner, curl up in a ball and suck their thumb for a week until their family eventually interjected and coaxed them to come out and eat something. After months of counseling, they would eventually reach the point where thinking about the whole ordeal would not immediately cause them to convulse into a fit of vomiting.

The last thing that person would do is pick-up a keyboard and send a threatening e-mail.

So here is how it works. Scammers know you don't want Viagera, or Ciallis or whatever the pill dejour is. They know you don't want to look at dude's schlongs. They send you all those e-mails so eventually you will send an irate response, screaming "Stop sending me pictures of Schlongs!" and then they've got you. They now know theer is a pulse on the other end of your e-mail address and you get elevated to the next tier in their scam factory. The same goes for the wolf in CodBag's clothing e-mail I got. Either I will hit a link in the e-mail or scream at them, or (most unlikely) remove my hat and start apologizing as I research a transaction that does not exist. But in all of those scenarios, "They got my ass!"

Well not this ass my Nigerian friend. Not this ass.

Unfortunately, the only viable defense was to add it to my spam filter and move on. Of coarse I didn't want to let all that rage go to waste, so I took it out on the douche three e-mails down who demanded positive feedback.