A New Breed

Here’s a Cod-Bag we deal with regularly. He is the Domestic Blow-Hard Advice-Giving Cod-Bag of North America. These clever creatures are typically late to leave the nest, often dwelling in their parents’ basements until late into their thirties. They have many jobs over the course of a lifetime and seem to acquire an exhaustive knowledge of every industry with which they come into contact. To the layman it appears that they can’t hold down a job. However, careful observation reveals that they almost immediately become smarter than any employer and subsequently find their bosses to be foolish and insolent. They become frustrated when co-workers refuse to heed their omniscient advice and eventually must vacate their menial jobs in order to collect unemployment until some other fool will hire them.

One such Cod-Bag recently e-mailed us a question about an on-board computer for the trucking industry. Here is the annotated thread:

Cod-Bag:

THERE IS NOT A PICTURE OF THE EXTERIOR ANTENNA/WHITE DOME, THE SMALL CELL PHONE ANTENNA SHOWN IS FOR OPTIONAL PAGER TO LET DRIVER KNOW THERE WAS AN INCOMING MESSAGE, IF THIS IS A COMPLETE SYSTEM THERE MUST BE A DOME/ANTENNA. PLEASE VERIFY BEFORE I BID. THX

This is the blow-hard behavior. Proving to the world that he is smarter than you and knows everything possible about the item you are selling. This is accentuated by the use of all caps. The reader can almost imagine the Cod-Bag in a small cafeteria, sharing a loud story about his neighbor’s fence encroaching on his property… “Blah, blah, 1932 survey, blah, blah, blah, GPS technology… Blah, Blah I know a lawyer… blah. “

My response was curt, but professional:

If the component is not in the photo or itemized in the listing, it is not included. These were complete working systems pulled out of a local P&D operation.

And now for the advice-giving behavior for which this species is known:

then i suggest you either check for the dome or revise yur auction, because without the white dome/antenna they are not complete systems

Oh, Cod-Bag, you crack me up. Every time I sight one it is like the very first time. My response:

Thanks for the advice, but I don't think you know what the hell you're talking about. This is a local P&D [Pick-up and Delivery]system, not OTR [Over the Road]. QualComm builds a myriad of systems and, unless you are their VP of product development, you probably don't know even half of them.

I invite you to keep your advice to yourself. Have a great day.

I am thinking about developing an illustrated field guide for cod-bag aficionados. I think it would be helpful for budding Cod-Bag enthusiasts as well. Look for it at your local Barnes and Nobel soon.