Monday Morning Inbox Blues

God I hate Mondays.

I typically ignore eBay over the weekend because it only serves to piss me off when I am trying to spend time with my family. Unfortunately the questions just pile up and by Monday morning there is a mountain of stupidity in my inbox.

This morning has been exceptionally entertaining and I thought I would share a couple highlights.

Question Number One:
We are selling Hookah Pipe Leads. (Freight salvage provides a diverse product mix.) These things are advertised as replacement vaporizer parts for herbal remedies but everyone knows they are for smoking pot. Here’s the question I got:

How efficient is this whip with herbs?

Now I know dope smokers can convert grams to pounds to ounces and divide any number by 8 faster than Big Blue, but I did not realize the depth of their scientific prowess. I have no idea how you would measure the “efficiency” of a bong, but this was my answer.

Using which scale? Erschock's or Vopenheimer's?

Question Number Two:
This one needs no lead-up. Standard Cod-Bag:

I kwould like to purchase this item but I have 2 item strikes within the last year. I have over 1500 feedback, I just had an issue regaurding the method of payment with two sellers.

My Response:

Bummer

Dflab, here's a hint. If your sentence doesn't end in a question mark, it may not be a question.

I am kinda curious what type of payment method confusion there was. I’ve had that problem before. I tried to pay a Craigslist prostitute with roses. Well, to be honest, first I tried to chisel her down to 200 daffodils and when her pimp showed up I hauled out the roses, but by then it was too late. He beat the crap out of me and crammed the roses... well, lets just say, I had no idea proctologists made that much money.

I feel your pain dflab from North Dakota. I really do.